It’s 10:45PM and I can’t sleep. The Eclipse got me man. Amazing. In fact, it blew me away. The sight, the silence, the temperature change, the calm, dusk blanket that was cast on the earth, and the mysterious beauty. The world seemed to quiet down as if to pay respect to the majesty of the universe. A Higher Power indeed.
I was at work when it happened surrounded by 15 or so men at Renaissance Ranch, some staff, mostly patients, but all together we stood. We had just wrapped a productive morning group and made our way out to the large grass field to observe the eclipse and give it look before lunch.
Part of my service at The Ranch is meeting with families and individuals prior to treatment to assess the situation, and hopefully aid them in finding help. Everybody on that grass field today, myself included, we’re at one time completely hopeless and sank. We had all cast ourselves out due to addiction and alcoholism, and had forgotten how to find our way home. There were some on the field today in this group that just days ago were laying in a hospital bed wondering how it had come to this, wishing for death.
Now, I’m writing tonight because of an observation that struck me during the eclipse and hasn’t left me throughout the day. I noticed these men whom I love and respect greatly experiencing JOY. Joy is one of the gifts of Recovery that we witness at the Ranch on a daily basis, and it’s always beautiful. However, today’s joy was different. It was Joy basking with peace and serenity. You could see it, feel it. It was as if time stopped for a moment today during the eclipse. These brothers, sons of God, who just weeks ago were done, finished, beaten, to a man tortured with suicidal ideation, and hopelessness seemingly unreachable, were together in brotherhood. Some threw the frisbee, others practiced yoga, others simply laughed, hugged, and fellowshipped, and some meditated laying in the grass as we watched, and felt, this gift from the Universe.
I had the thought come to me: If only we had the slightest idea of why God created something such as the eclipse. I mean, aside from the physical effect it has on our planet. It would be narrow minded of me to ignore an eclipse as a cog on a much larger blueprint of life. An eclipse is perfectly precise in a never-ending Universe. A Universe and galaxy that equally revolves in precision everlasting. The power, peace, and unknown optimism I felt was something that struck me and has stayed with me today. I’m still in awe of it all. Putting words to this feeling is difficult, but sometimes words can confuse the purity of feeling. The Eclipse was spiritual and I didn’t expect that.
Looking back to the field and my brothers at Renaissance Ranch in all their new found joy and happiness, I was inspired by the miracle of Recovery, and comforted that behind our sobriety is a God capable of creating something like an eclipse!
He is surely and without a doubt a God that can actively, precisely, change hearts.
I’m grateful to be a believer today. I’m happy for my friends on the field. I’m grateful for my sobriety.
I am Blessed to be a Witness.
And with that I’ll take another 24.